Waxy BEAST Review – “The King of Limbs”

Originally published in The Beasthttp://www.buffalobeast.com06 APR 2011

Like, twenty years ago there was this band called On A Friday from Abingdon, England that mostly tried to sound like the Pixies, but added the occasional ska romp or indie ballad, and even infused electronics and drum machines into their sound.

In the early 90s, Britpop was getting big, so EMI made them change their name to Radiohead, signed them, and told them to “just do that.” They released Pablo Honey and The Bends, which, despite being Great Fucking Albums, were substantially limiting for such a stylistically expansive group.

OK Computer was released in 1997, and over the next ten years, Radiohead entered a Golden Era of Creativity. They touched back on their eccentric roots and did whatever they wanted with immunity from the label. They rarely released singles. They wrestled with blending the spatiality of acoustics and the immediacy of electronics. Thom Yorke was even able expand in ever-more-avant-garde directions with his Eraser project, and Johnny Greenwood was able to dig up his ska influences with The Controller.

The next logical step, I think, would have been for the band to try to find ways to further infuse acoustics and electronics while elaborating upon their Sound. But no, with The King of Limbs, you’re basically getting pretentious little dose of material that could have passed as B-sides to the In Rainbows’ B-sides. It’s like when Amnesiac came out after Kid A, but more dismal, and you had to wait so much longer.

The only standout (and I use that term loosely) tracks are 03 (“Little By Little”) and 06 (“Codex”). “Little By Little” is the first point on the album where the band picks up a guitar, and it harkens back to the “jangley” (there’s gotta be a better word; please shoot me or any other reviewer who ever uses this term ever again) alt-rock of “Optimistic” or “I Might Be Wrong” but in a kinda depressing, derivative way. And “Codex” is a straightforward “Karma Police”/ “Pyramid Song” piano ballad, but that shit was never really my bag so I’m not going to get into it.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s not all bad, or even just all blah. The record ends on a high note with “Give Up The Ghost” and “Separator.” They’re nice little songs. Atmospheric, cozy, and the lyrics sound like they’re probably saying something important. But it’s almost too little too late, because if you’re anything like me, you stopped paying attention halfway through Track Two.

Radiohead is known for releasing Great Fucking Albums. I know it’s been four years since they let one drop, and that’s just about as long as they’ve ever gone, but come on. If you don’t HAVE an album, don’t RELEASE one.

Dating Advice: Facebook Love & Slammin’ It at G-Dub

Originally published in The Beasthttp://www.buffalobeast.com15 APR 2011

By Sic McLovelorn, BEAST Relationship Expert

I was recently “friended” by a stranger on Facebook. She is listed as single, lives in the same city as me, and looks cute, but our only mutual friend is a local DJ. I kind of want to get to know her better and maybe ask her out, but I don’t know if the norms of Facebook allow that. Should I send her a message? – Entirely Too Lonely in Buffalo

Oh, I don’t know, Entirely. Goddamn Facebook. It’s nice that everybody’s Grandma gets to see pictures of them getting sloshed at the club in between rows of tan cleavage, but on the downside you have to deal with postmodern dilemmas like this one. But you know what? I’ve heard of strangers linking up on the site before. It’s definitely not normal, don’t get me wrong, but if she’s Cold-Friending you like that, she’s probably at least half as crazy as you are.

So here’s what I’d recommend: Get drunk. Good and Drunk. Then, just to make sure all your bases are covered, put forty-five minutes into a rambling and semi-incoherent message to your most recent ex. Tell her all the reasons you’ve suddenly realized it didn’t work out between the two of you, but that you’re working on yourself, and that it would be “cool” to get together again sometime. Throw in some subtle innuendo towards the end that’s not really as “subtle” as you drunkenly think it is.

Next, start up a message to your Cold Call Companion. Tell her that you’re not sure if you’ve met but that she seems “cool” and that it would be “cool” to go check out this one DJ who’s not exactly like (but IS exactly like) the DJ you both Like. And don’t stop there. Specifically reference her most provocative tagged photo in a “subtle” way, and be sure to add a “semi-colon-end parenthesis” to really drive the point home. Pause for a moment as the imminent dread begins to set in but hit “Send” before your conscience can chime in. Then delete your outbox for posterity and go to bed; you’re drunk!

I’m in DC from out of town right now, slamming this girl at GW, but I have nothing to do while she’s in class. – Extracurricular in the Capital

First of all, good work, Extra – not so much on the collegiate hook-up, but on your use of the term “slamming” in this context. I’m about to steal that and get a lot cooler. But, like, what do you have in mind? Are you looking for “something” or “someone” to do? You need to be more specific here, folks.

I’m going to assume you’re referring to the latter and recommend that your first priority be making sure you know this girl’s schedule a couple days – or at least hours – out. Then hop onto your Contacts list or Facebook page and see if you know any other girls in town with whom you’ve had unresolved frottage in the past. Be all like, “Sup yo im in dc right now wat u up to the next few days/hours.” Then hop onto OkCupid and see if you can work something out there, too. You’re in a 500K+ population city after all, and although the site is borderline useless for short-notice encounters in my own 250K-zone, you might have some last-minute luck in the nation’s capital. Maybe even head over to Ashley Madison, why not – it costs a little money to get started, and requires a lot more legwork before it pans out, but I’d be so proud of you if you ended up “slamming” some senator’s wife while your Co-Ed was in ENG101.

Either way, devote the first few class-breaks to making some headway, and be sure to delete the browser cache anytime your Student Friend texts you on her way back towards the dorms. Hopefully you’ll have a rendezvous lined up for the next time she heads over to the Student Union.

So there you go. If I misread this and you really were just looking for “something” to do, then get Good and Drunk and follow all the steps above. When your Academic Fuck Buddy gets home and you’re all sloshed and you’ve actually just settled for Youporn in the waning afternoon, just be all like, “Baby… no, I’m not drunk… no, fuuuuckyou.” Then break something and leave.

For terrible dating advice, send questions to sicmclovelorn@gmail.com

Waxy BEAST Reviews: Wiz Khalifa - Rolling Papers

Originally published in The Beasthttp://www.buffalobeast.com03 APR 2011

WIZ KHALIFA – Rolling Papers

Ever since Lil’ Wayne released Tha Carter III in 2008, virtually every rapper to see the light of day has struggled to copy his sped-up, southern-drawl-flow and Purple Drank lifestyle. They pay thousands for designer beats and hot-guest verses, and basically beg to get brought up on drug and gun charges to sell ringtones. The thing they all seem to miss is that Wayne is an exception, not a genre. He’s an eccentric genius who can’t help but make you squirm, and when you try to turn his innovations into industry trends, you just water them down.

It’s been a while since a rapper came out with a solid, not-even-just-hip-hop-but-all-around record like Carter III, and that’s what Wiz Khalifa seems to be doing with Rolling Papers. This is his first album on a major label – after having released a couple mixtapes and records independently out of his hometown of Pittsburgh. His mixtapes stirred up a heated bidding war last year – he turned down offers from Rick Ross and a co-headlining tour opportunity with Drake to ensure that he wouldn’t get roped into a moribund sub-genre or trend.

Rolling Papers is an All-Around record; Khalifa tapped an extensive rolodex of producers and guests to keep it interesting. You got that southern crunk sound on tracks like “Black and Yellow” (which I know you’re sick of by now, but blame the Steelers and move on, man). There’s inspirational, feel good, pre-crazy-Kanye beat&flows like “Roll Up” and “No Sleep.” There’s even some actual instrumentation on “Fly Solo,” provided by Tim Armstrong of Rancid and Travis Barker of Expensive Taste (and, uh, maybe another band).

A lot of the lyrics have references to blowing his money. But not, like, in a “I’m’a live forever,” boastfully shortsighted way – it seems more like he’s trying to brace for longevity, motivated more by the music than the money. Take note, Every Other Rapper Ever.

Now, I know you think I’m all hood and shit, but I’m gonna level with you. I’m mostly white: I suck at basketball, and I don’t know exactly which model Blackberry I have. So some of Khalifa’s lyrics go over my head. Sure, I “appreciate his use of alliteration and cadence, and I like that he draws from a highly variegated body of lyrical influences,” but there’s a couple phrases I’m not going to understand until they get co-opted. And until then I’m going to continue to squirm a little, whitely.

ie. On “Wake Up,” he says, “Got money/ minor league turned major/ Got money/ white people turn neighbors,” and I suddenly feel like I should feel guilty for helping to gentrify Bushwick.

It’s good though. It starts strong and ends strong too, so it’s worth putting up with the few low points on a full run through. And even if Wiz Khalifa starts to go downhill, you know, like every other artist in the history of art, I’ll probably still bring this record up and weep a little like I do whenever College Dropout comes on the random play.

-Steven Gordon